


Gayby

by hgiel



Category: H.O.T., K-pop, Lady - Fandom
Genre: F/F, F/M, Transgender
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-12-20
Updated: 2011-12-19
Packaged: 2017-10-27 14:12:09
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,278
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/296702
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hgiel/pseuds/hgiel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kang Ta welcomes Hee Jun home from the army with a baby...</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Hee Jun expected to be welcomed with open arms, but the look on Kang Ta’s face when he opened the door was less then ecstatic.  
“I’m home.” Hee Jun said with as much cheer as he could muster.  
“You’re early.” Kang Ta muttered, then shrugged. “Oh well, welcome home from the military, honey!”  
Kang Ta reached out to hug him, but Hee Jun caught his arms. “I’ve been gone for two years, aren’t you excited to see me?...Are you cheating on me? Again?”  
“No! I promised remember? Strictly masturbation for two years. I have the receipts for hand cream to prove it. It’s just...I have a surprise, and I was hoping to surprise you with it, but oh well, come in!”  
Hee Jun followed Kang Ta into his home, hesitantly looking around for his ‘surprise’. As they entered the living room though, it was obvious what it was. Chae Yeon and Binu sat on the couch waiting patiently.  
“Kang Ta.” Hee Jun hissed quietly. “How many times do I have to tell you I can’t get it up if people are watching.”  
“No, no, that isn’t it.” Kang Ta assured.  
“I’m not having a four way either.”  
“Would you just tell him.” Binu snapped.  
“Hee Jun, we’re having a baby.” Kang Ta said, bubbling with excitement. “We’re all having a baby!”  
Hee Jun looked from Kang Ta to the two women. Chae Yeon, he noticed, was indeed fat. “What...do you mean?” He asked slowly.  
“These lesbians wanted to have a baby, so I gave them my sperm. I thought since you were going to be done with your military service, we could settle down and have a baby! We’re all going to share it.”  
Despite Kang Ta’s joy, Hee Jun couldn’t join in the celebration. “How could you do this?! You didn’t even ask me! This is a big commitment Kang Ta, you don’t understand what this means!”  
Kang Ta’s face fell and he took Hee Jun’s face in his hands. “Don’t worry about it. We wont be taking care of the baby all alone. The lesbians will have it most of the time.”  
“Stop calling us ‘the lesbians’.” Binu warned.  
“Didn’t you even think you should run this by me?” Hee Jun asked, knowing it was futile.  
“I thought it would be a good surprise. I thought you would be happy... Don’t you want to have a baby with me?”  
“With you?” Hee Jun asked. “This isn’t with you. This is you with a lesbian and a he-she. I’ll just be here as the guy you have sex with.”  
“That isn’t true!” Kang Ta assured. “Besides, it might be yours. Considering all the times you jizzed into me, there is no telling what sperm is mine or what sperm is yours.”  
“Oh God, please let the baby take after you...” Binu said to Chae Yeon.  
“It’s going to be alright.” Chae Yeon said to them all. “We’re all mature adults, let’s talk this out while we can.”  
“I’m guessing an abortion is out of the question.” Hee Jun muttered, seating himself across from the women.  
“Yes, it is.” Chae Yeon said darkly. “The baby will be here any day.”  
“Why did you pick Kang Ta, of all people?” Hee Jun asked, not able to hide the amazement in his voice.  
“He’s handsome, and...He’s just handsome.” Chae Yeon explained, at a loss.  
“I am, I really am.” Kang Ta said obliviously as he seated himself in Hee Jun’s lap.  
“We had planned on using my sperm.” Binu explained. “I kept some just in case. But, about a year ago our power went out and everything in the freezer had to be thrown out.”  
“It’s just how it sounds.” Chae Yeon said as Hee Jun opened his mouth.  
Hee Jun rubbed at his temple, trying to make his head ache subside. “I just don’t know if I’m ready for this.”  
“Come on Hee Jun,” Kang Ta said sweetly. “This baby needs us, it’ll need fathers.”  
Binu scoffed. “Please, I’m more man then you’ll ever be.”  
“And I’m more women then you’ll ever be!” Kang Ta snapped at her. “With your gross inverted penis.”  
Binu jumped to her feet, sending Kang Ta toppling over the side of his chair in fear. He scrambled to his feet and ran off with Binu close behind him.  
Hee Jun waved toward them. “Look at that and tell me you don’t have second thoughts!”  
“Oh, don’t worry. We all have enough money for any therapy the child will need.” Chae Yeon joked.  
“Physical therapy...” Hee Jun muttered. “The kid will probably get stepped on if it doesn’t first get left in an over heated car while Kang Ta is at the mall. What sex is the baby anyway?”  
“We’re waiting until the birth to find out. We wanted a traditional birth.”  
“Ya, this is all real traditional...”  
The door bell rang then and Kang Ta forgot he was being chanced long enough to answer it.  
“The guests are arriving!” He cheered.  
Hee Jun looked to Chae Yeon who smiled back at him.  
“You came at a good time. We’re having my baby shower.”


	2. Chapter 2

There were a few faces Hee Jun recognized, and a few he didn’t. The ones he knew were his band mates from H.O.T and a few ShinHwa members. Hye Sung, Eric, and the little one who’s name he could never remember, but did he did recall him hanging around a lot before H.O.T debuted. The faces he didn’t know were a bunch of he-shes. Hee Jun wasn’t sure what one’s were post-op and what one’s were pre-op.  
“Bring your gifts into the living room, let’s open them first!” Kang Ta announced. “I’m so excited!”  
Binu joined Chae Yeon on the couch, Kang Ta forced Hee Jun to sit with them as well, facing their guests.  
“Come on, gifts!” Kang Ta cheered.  
“Here’s mine and Woo Hyuk’s.” Tony volunteered, handing a package to Chae Yeon.  
She thoughtfully opened it, ignoring Kang Ta’s peering over her. “Oh, how cute, it’s unisex clothing, thank you!”  
“Real original guys.” Kang Ta muttered. “Next. Jae Won, what do you have?”  
Jae Won handed over a book, unwrapped. “It’s ‘Are You There God? It’s Me, Margaret’.”  
“I love that book...” Andy said quietly.  
“I figure your kid will have issues growing up around them.” Jae Won looked to Kang Ta and Hee Jun. “I know I did.”  
“What did I tell you on the ride over?” Woo Hyuk snapped at him.  
“Sorry...” Jae Won muttered.  
“Hye Sung.” Kang Ta whined. “Please tell me your gift doesn’t suck.”  
“I couldn’t be fucked to go buy a gift. Here.” Hye Sung tossed some cash at Kang Ta, who quickly gathered it up.  
“Enough of your friends.” Binu said. “What about you guys?”  
Shin Ae smiled at Hara and Yuni before answering. “We started a trust fund. Your daughter can draw from it whenever she’s ready for her first plastic surgery.”  
“I thought you guys didn’t know the sex?” Hee Jun asked.  
Yuni laughed. “Regardless, the child will be a girl eventually.”  
“Okay, here is my gift.” Eric spoke up, handing a bag to Chae Yeon.  
Chae Yeon looked pleasant as ever as she opened the gift, but her face soon fell once she saw what was inside.  
“It’s a bra.” Eric explained. “I figure, if it’s a girl, she can use it. If it’s a boy, he can practice with it.”  
“That’s a fabulous gift.” Lee Hyuk said seductively.  
“Thank you.” Eric said much in the same tone, over taken with pheromones.  
“This is going well.” Binu said sarcastically.  
“I told you this was a bad idea from square one.” Woo Hyuk pointed out.  
“You knew about this since the beginning and you didn’t think to tell me?” Hee Jun demanded. “What kind of friend are you? We had a deal!”  
“What deal?” Kang Ta asked.  
“That if I was aware of you fucking up Hee Jun’s life I was suppose to tell him.” Woo Hyuk explained.  
Kang Ta gasped and looked back and forth between them before storming off.  
“Thanks a lot Woo Hyuk.” Hee Jun said through his teeth. “Now I have to deal with his bitch fit.”  
Hee Jun followed Kang Ta out of his home and down the street. Kang Ta didn’t make it very far, he was heading into the lower income community. Poverty made him feel dirty.  
“Woo Hyuk was lying, he’s just trying to be a dick. You think I’m dumb enough to make a deal with him?” Hee Jun said, breathless from the half a block walk.  
“You are the one who mentioned the deal!” Kang Ta pointed out.  
“Oh, ya. Well fuck, Kang Ta, give me a break. I just got home and now I have to deal with this!”  
“I thought you would be happy!” Kang Ta burst into tears.  
“Remember that time we were in a hotel and I ordered porn while you were in the bathroom?” Hee Jun asked. “And you were upset that you didn’t get to pick it? This is kind of like that.”  
“I’m sorry.” Kang Ta sniffled. “Just try this with me. If we don’t like it, we can kick the lesbians and the baby out.”  
“Wait, they are living with you?”  
“It’s the only way I could declare them as dependants on my taxes.”  
Hee Jun sighed. “Let’s go back to the party. Maybe someone brought liquor.”  
“That’s why I invited Sang Hyuk.”


	3. Chapter 3

Kang Ta called Hee Jun the night after the baby shower. It was 2AM. He called to say Chae Yeon had gone into labor so Hee Jun rushed to the hospital. Come 2PM they were still just sitting around waiting for the birth while Chae Yeon complained of labor pains.  
“This is the most boring birth ever.” Kang Ta muttered, watching TV.  
“And what other births have you attended?” Binu snapped, holding Chae Yeon’s hand.  
“My own.” Kang Ta retorted. “And I bet it was a whole hell of a lot more interesting then this. Forget it, come on Hee Jun, let’s get lunch.”  
Hee Jun followed Kang Ta out and to the cafeteria. They sat at a crowded table even though their were empty ones available. Hee Jun wasn’t sure why until Kang Ta opened his mouth.  
“Why are you here?” He asked a middle aged women.  
“My father is in the ICU.”  
“Sucks for you.” Kang Ta mumbled. “We’re having a gayby...A gay baby.” He explained when she stared at him blankly.  
“Your baby is gay?” She asked.  
“Sorry to bother you ma’am. Sorry about your father too.” Hee Jun apologized then shot Kang Ta an admonishing look.  
“At least I’m proud.” Kang Ta said. “You need to put a little more effort into being happy.”  
“I’m trying.” Hee Jun sighed. “It’s still all too soon.”  
“You should feel lucky. You weren’t here to deal with all that pregnancy bull shit. The lesbians just complained none stop. ‘I’m hungry, I’m vomiting, I’m peeing, Don’t touch my strap on’s’, geez.”  
“You have to promise me this is the last kid you have without talking to me about it first.”  
Kang Ta stared blankly at him for a moment. “You mean, like, from now on?”  
“Yes...Why? Do you have more kids I don’t know about?” Hee Jun demanded.  
“Not that I know of. But I’ve ejaculated into a lot of things in my life, so who knows?”  
Hee Jun suddenly found they were alone at the table.

Finally the baby was crowning. Hee Jun and Kang Ta had come back just in time to find out that sometimes pushing a baby caused other things to force their way out as well.  
“You shit the bed!” Kang Ta gaged.  
“Child birth isn’t as glamorous as it seems on TV.” The doctor admitted from between Chae Yeon’s legs.  
The first sight of the baby made Kang Ta forget all about the defecation.  
“Oh gross, it’s coming out.” Kang Ta gaged, again. “Your whole vagina is like this hairy alien tumor thing.”  
“Kang Ta, I swear I’ll kick your fucking ass as soon as this is over if you don’t shut the hell up!” Chae Yeon yelled.  
“You used to be nice.” Kang Ta said before Hee Jun covered his mouth.  
“Keep pushing.” The doctor urged her, grabbing hold of the baby’s head and pulling.  
Before long the baby flopped out in one slick and fluid motion.  
This time Hee Jun gaged.  
“It’s a boy.” The doctor announced over the baby’s screams, “Who wants to cut the cord?”  
Binu stepped forward to take the opportunity, and neither of the men were arguing.  
“It’s so gross.” Hee Jun said softly as the nurse rubbed the baby with a towel.  
“I’m going to name him Hee Jun,” Kang Ta said, “Because he reminds me of you.”  
“What reminds you of Hee Jun?” Binu asked. “That he’s fat or the fact that you’ve only seen him naked?”  
“I meant because he’s screaming, but those are good too.”

When it was time to take the baby home with them, Hee Jun had to stop Kang Ta in the hall.  
“What are you doing? That isn’t Hee Jun jr.”  
“It isn’t?” Kang Ta asked, looking down at the baby in his arms.  
“No, in fact I don’t even think it’s asian. It’s just squinting.”  
“Let’s keep it anyway. We’ll look exotic with a foreign baby. We’ll say we got it while we were on vacation.”  
Just then, Chae Yeon came around the corner with their child. Kang Ta quickly tossed his stolen baby to a passing nurse.


End file.
